If you read my welcome post , and you’re still rocking with me, thank you. It means the world to me. For those of you who are just coming on board, hello. I hope you stick around awhile- and if you’d like, you can read a little more about me here.
So in an attempt to be as open as my introverted self will allow me to be, I’m going to dive head first into one of the issues that I’ve struggled with (and failed at) for most of my life: my weight.
I’ve put everyone in my life before myself. I am a habitual people-pleaser. I realized this fact and had truly accepted it up until I began to notice the negative effects it was having on health. I’d stopped taking care of myself a long time ago, which led to depression and severe weight gain- and when I say “severe” I mean 50-60 pounds. Yes, that bad. I was so focused in getting others to like me and fixing everyone else’s problems, that I forgot to take care of myself. Personal issues that I needed to deal with were put on the back burner, festering in my subconscious.
These unresolved issues led me to turn to food to numb myself from the consistent nagging of the strain I continued to harbor. I’ve gained so much weight that I am no longer comfortable in my body and confidence has become a distant dream that I barely remember experiencing. For far too long I’ve allowed myself to remain in this spot of self-sabotage.
I recently looked at some old pictures of myself and realized that at one point I was “bae”. I was confident, healthy, and someone who took pride in their appearance. I still helped others, but I’d always put myself first. Making sure that self was content before taking on the pains of those I kept around me. I. Was. Bae.
This realization has awakened something in me. I’ve been uncomfortable for far too long, and it’s time to get myself together. It is time to find that “bae” that got hidden somewhere beneath all of the stress, self-doubt, and sabotage. But I’m ready to find her.
Via my Youtube channel, I will be posting videos of the process. More specifically, the weight loss aspect. I’ll definitely update you guys over here on my little piece of the web, but Youtube will provide more frequent updates.I’m hoping that by documenting my journey, essentially for the world to see, it’ll motivate me to break free of the yo-yo dieting and past weight loss failures. Please send positive energy my way, I’m going to need all that I can get.
Check out my first weigh in video below: